drama-llama

what's wrong with people and waiting these days? keep me up till wee fcking hours because you cant wait for me.






so now i know how far your "love" goes.





i'm sorry. i'm angry. i dont mean to diss you i just need you to know i wont forget.





cos it's in black&white.

oh-so-ME.

there's ONE thing i hate about some people. how they cross analyse.


a piece of advice to those of you who enjoy cross analysing others:-



DON'T.


it becomes a second nature. it hurts. it dents relationships. it just sucks.



so DON'T.



please&thankyou.

weird day.

woke up at about 9 something today. hoped i'd feel the least bit better but no, not really. went downstairs for breakfast with the familay. ate didnt talk much. went to KIZ SPORTS bsc after that. linah and caitliyne's day out. as a post birthday treat for caitliyne. (fyi they're my cousins. 5 and 2 respectively.) hence, the KIZ SPORTS.


see, it's one of those play areas like twinkles last time with the HUGE enclosure for climbing&sliding and what not. so naturally, i didnt expect i'd get involved in the aforementioned.



life is like a little child jumping out from behind a bush going "BOO!"



it surprises me. i soon found myself climbing&sliding and what not along with the two mak neneks. i went two rounds then i got tired. lol. we left about 2 hrs later. went for physio at 4. see the title of my post? yeah it's cos of this mainly. okay i'll start at the beginning.


went to see a sports doctor yesterday to investigate the pain in my tailbone. turns out it's a slip disc in the lower spine. hence the emo-ness yesterday. this means:


1. no sports for a month.
2. NO CHEER FOR A MONTH.


he specifically said so. arrhghghghghhg so fuggin convenient nay?? so yeah, no cheer. i'll still go for dance but no heavy stuff. and so went for physio today. was damn weird. first they put some sticly thingys down yr legs and these thingys vibrate okay. so it feels like yr leg is being electrocuted. then they did the ultrasound on my back. with the coldcoldcold gel. it got warmer tho. then they put more sticky thingys on my back and did this ice treatment thing.



the ice was so cold, it was hot.



seriously. had it on for 15mins. that was all. it was okay, better than i expected but it was just too weird. too much weirdness in a day doesn't do a person good.



and OMFG la. steff wasnt chosen for choral for the STUPIDEST REASON IN THE WORLD. wont reveal but yeah GOSH IT PISSES ME OFF. poor girl. poor me! poor us! ahh shyitt!




there's something i need to find out and i need to find out NOW but lyn li isnt replying meeeeeee! i need to know! i guess i'll ask her later i'm seeing her anyway. if my hypothesis is correct, it is a very small world. and it gets smaller.

(the usage of word 'hypothesis' shows the overdose of 4 sci 1.) gosh i need a holiday. gahh! and i lost my hair tie for the 83583865893658365836523568924658942nd time.


woe is me.


oh yeah and yknow that thing supposedly called love,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
is currently bola-ing in singapore. if the game isnt on now, stop being a bitch and reply me can not? please&thankyou.



nah just kidding. i love you :)

what?

i dont know if anyone feels this, but i certainly do. it seems as though everytime i'm feeling real hopeless, and i'm near a radio, all the songs they play make sense to how i feel. song after song, it tells a story about how you're feeling, why you feel it, and not to give up. it's happened to me countless times. maybe it's my imagination..or maybe i'm really listening for a change. it gets me really emotional when i feel like NO ONE IN THE WORLD knows how i feel, and yet it's live on-air. ironic no? that's what's really strange, in my eyes. it seems as though the answer is so simple. but what is it that makes it hard? it's the fact that i don't let it be easy. i crave a challenge. but when i get a challenge, i regret it and i cannot for the life of me, handle it. my first instinct when i feel down and hopeless : SORT IT OUT. DON'T LET ANYONE SORT IT OUT FOR YOU. so i have to sort it out.



i have to be the hero in my story.


let's just hope the hero saves the day.


and lives happily ever after.



:'(

shoulderTOshoulder till justice prevails.

takes so super long to get home from school now cos i'm in a diff bus! ahhhh and a new driverrr. omgg the journey home is like prolonged to the maxx. an hour to get home when i live 5mins away. gossh. oh well, this is what 2007 brings then.



grin&bear it. thats all i can do.




nigello proposed starting a dance club in school. and its a prrty awesome idea i think. so i'm backing him up. he knows a dance teacher and everything! i cant wait for it to finally be put in action. we talked to pn parimala and she's agreed to head it but we gotta do most of the logistics and technicalities. but that's not a problem, after all we gotta be independant and not depend on her to run the show now can we? then we talked to mr george and he agreed to talk to the dance teacher and hopefully they'll make a deal of some sort. hoping & praying so hope and pray with me! haha really excited. we even have something planned for anugerah. yesh very the excitingg! so thats what's been on my mind these past few days.


omg today was quite scary..mr yoges was relieving our class cos mr george wasnt there. and prefects go out early for recess or lunch, and all the prefects in our class were like getting up to go. and one even went out already..so steff and i went out la. actually it was kinda our bad la cos we didnt like, tell him that we were going out and we just kinda waltzed out (oops). so then we were waking, then mr y started shouting! he asked us why we were going out and ask some of the others to call us back. then he yelled at us...and...



all the other prefects from class werent allowed to go out early..



yes la, ashamed okay see the tiny font ^

then we waited la. damn quite cos we were kinda in the dog house. then a while later he let us go out. we could finally breathe then. i hope he didnt tell the discipline teacher about us. it was an accident really! we thought he knew we were going out...


oh well, it's okay now. WE WONT DO IT AGAIN.


-THIS IS A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO THE PREFECTS OF 4 sc 1.-

slowness.

omggg i'm trying to express blog today and it just has to load sooooo superr sloww. today was kinda fun. actually quite fun la. we were supposed to run 5 rounds round the school today!






(i cheated. sshhh. i only ran 4)




haha but i ended with steph so no one suspected a thang! yeah lucky she came ONE ROUND FASTER THAN ME. quite the malu. lol but i cheated anyway so who cares. haha! so then after that sat around for a bit then went for pe.


LATE!


arrrghhh! and the punishment was SIT UPS! but not that bad la only 15 hahaha. but halfway through, my tailbone started to hurt like seriously bad. i thought it was nothing la cos i dunno it was just painful. then after that i got up to walk to the courts...it was like....omfffffgggggg OUCCCCHHHHHH LAAAAAAA!



well, in my mind. duhh.


then everyone was playing netball and i didnt play cos it was soooo blooooday painful. not that i was pining to play also la. i can live without netball. (view previous posts!) yeah so then after that we got bored then NIGELLO came with his bball! and we were throwing it to each other. and he said we werent catching the ball right, so he taught us how to catch properly. nearly got my braains knocked right outta my head a few times. lol. yeupp powwwer!


then steph and i went to the bball court and started dancing (lol) dont ask it's just one of those spontaneous things. the waltz, saaaalsa! , chinese&indian&malay , haha THAI , balinese, you name it, we did it. haha then we did the wheelbarrow thing. (she was the wheelbarrow duhh theres no way i'm getting on the ground)



and all this cos it was quite boringg. then we went for recess. to change, then to recess. the rest of the day was prrty okay.




steffhasfurrr<33

friday blues.

i dont know why i keep playing along. when all you do is hurt me over and over again. maybe making me angry and making me bitch about it covers up the hurt i feel. i don't know. i've known you for years and yet you don't get it. i've dropped countless hints. somedays are good days, during which i feel like hating you less..but these don't come easily anymore. today was a good day. today i felt what it would be like if we were best friends without a care in the world. if i didn't know better, we would be. OH-SO-SUPERFICIALLY. that's what we have, you know? superficiality. all of what we have is fake. a lie. a joke. it's pathetic. but why? because i'm afraid, and you're oblivious. i hate seeing everything in people. i hate being the middle person in a situation where two other people are oblivious. that's what it was like. was. now you're the only one oblivious, everyone else has seen it but you. why is it so difficult to see? you want to see what everyone else sees?







try it, it's called a mirror.

smack THAT.

past few days have been SHYITTT.



BECAUSE


(haha i like doing these BECAUSE blogs a lot)


1. been quite sickk.
2. mum's away for business.










IN FRICKING NEW YORK CITY! AND SHE DID NOT TAKE ME!




as you can see, i'm still here.



so yeah, she's off having a fab time and all. she's there for like 10 days and shes only working for 3. so all those excess days, she'll be roaming the city with her friends shopping&shopping.


and shopping.




answer me this, HOW UPTURNED IS THE UNIVERSE?!



fyi, this post may be a little shallow of me in readers' eyes. but for those who know me close&personal, you know that this is a major catastrophe that i'm not there with her in the fuggin' fashion capital OF THE WORLD.




SEE ALSO:"deprived-shopaholic-living-miles-away-from-her-calling-and-gets-so-close-but-it-slips-thru-her-fingers-because-her-mother-didnt-take-her-along-and-thus-her-days-have-been-







SHYITT!"

smack THAT.

this shall be the sixth :)

jeez i just realised that i have ONLY FIVE POSTS. sorry readers (perasan-ness :p). haha. well school's started and its quite a change from previous school starting days. it's a whooooole different ball game. different requirements/standards/pressure/fun! yeah, there still IS fun. and hey, its only like the first week of school. but yeah, theres fun and there will be throughout the year!

today was a funny day. and a TIRING day. we ran 3 rounds round the whole entire school as practice for x-country. omgg la. after i finished, like a dumbdumb i sat down immediately. then my legs, omggggg started to itch like MADDDD! from my knees downwards. felt like ripping them pants off! seriouslyy kay. then after that walked up to the concourse and sat again.. but this time it was okay la not sooooo bad. drank the largest amount of water i've ever drunk at one time. then stephanie (a.k.a SLAAAAAAAAVE) felt really sickk. like she had to puke. but she didnt in the end. i told her to stick her finger down her throat to get it out, cos it's good to get it out right? but she didnt hahha. then after thaaat..had p.e THEORY (omgg useless!) then went
down to the field for the ahemm...PRACTICAL part of it. played netball.



for the 1276374638493994372834671264384th time of my life, in p.e.



sigh. its fun la but PLEASE DONT MAKE US PLAY IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. this is a plea from me on behalf of the WHOLE FEMALE COMMUNITY!

ok la maybe just the little community in our class. but STILL!

sigh. well after that went to change and all then had class and all. haha mr yoges is the funniest ever. he teaches physics, and he said the first time..


" In physics, your english all are fluents!"

in normal FLUENT english, might translate to..

"To learn physics, your english must be fluent."


haha funny. his english isnt really that bad at all. just that one spoken line. ironic nay? or maybe he was just doing it for fun, i dunno. (trying my HARDEST to give him the benefit of the doubt here :) so yeah, he's real funny. he carries this scary-ass cane around, not a walking stick cane, but a like...whacking cane. yeah and when he speaks, he sort of yknow, caaaasually swwwings it here and there.

tis super scary. his caaaasual swwwingss are sooo gonna take someone's eye out one day.


yeah thats prrty much the interestings of my day. blogg soon i hope.


<3

a slap back to reality.

once in a while. a slap back to reality is good. once in a while. it humbles you. once in a while. it hurts. once in a while. it calms the seas when all is well. once in a while.





and all, almost always, is well.






love u loads j. always and always <3

a sprinkle of jacq.

JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ JACQ.


u see your name now?


loviesxx.

lailoco :)

mum flooded the bathroom today. Yup, you heard (read) me right. she left the tap on and it flooded her bathroom ankle length.



WOOT.




so this is the scene. mum and i (mum with a campbell's soup free gift cup, and me with a little pail) busily scooping up the water from the floor into the cup and pail respectively. and throwing the water either into the sink, or in the drainhole.


t'was quite funny. my back hurts a little tho.


watched project runway after that. and the conor clapman story (a bit of it) then watched a bit of desire: table for three. very the duhrama. much like jacq :) i love you.


THEN


came online. talked to jacq and thaddd. haha FRIMAY BOY. then jacq and i changed our myspace layouts. mine's prettier than the old one. jacq's is super dottyy.


then read blogs for a while. and now i'm blogging. and now i'm not.


lovies xx.

eeekano.

kaym caroling group sang at ikanoooo! on friday, saturday and sunday. was soooo cool! except for the saturday 2pm-3pm one la. that one was very VERY the sucky.




BECAUSE.



1. there were very few ppl.
2. like, seriously, only ONE bass.
3. the alto's mic was OMG ultra loud hence drowned the melody.
4. stupid sound ppl's fault, not the alto's fault.
5. bee conducted. (thats a bad thing because she's my only REAL soprano.)
6. rock sucked, was very VERY rushed.
7. silent night sucked.



There. 7 whole reasons. we got better tho. WAYYYY better.



BECAUSE.


1. shireen conducted. (meaning bee could sing with us!)
2. shireen conducted. (meaning rock wasnt so rushed!)
3. seong came. (meaning there was another bass)
4. jo+sheyna came. (meaning more girls voices)
5. we were more semangat-ed.
6. there was another caroling group cheering us on. (support!)
7. we were SO much more confident.



yay :)

at peace.

so effing bored today. I NEED something better to do with my time. some company would be nice. sigh. SO BLOODY BORED. havent finished my xmas shopping yet. i wish i had a car and could drive. would solve most of my miseries. i can't wait till i can drive. wheeee.


i dont really know yet what xmas presents to give most people. i have a vague idea, but then when i go, i change my mind over and over. i want to give people the best gifts ever! making them personal and meaningful..i sometimes succeed..that's what i like to think. *smiles*


i especially would like to make gifts meaningful for those who mean most to me. family, friends like megan, jacq, sheyna, thad. it's always so nice to see faces light up when opening gifts. makes my day. it's just up to me to put smiles not only on their faces, but their hearts as well. thats the hard part!


magical time, christmas. walking around in malls during this magical season really livens me up. the carols playing, decorations everywhere, xmas spirit just oozing out of everyone. honestly, it's the most beautiful thing. i heart christmas.


and ohhhh the company we have during xmas! caroling and bonding and sharing the spirit. it makes my christmas, my christmas. and did i mention, we rock? cos yeah, we do. and we rock at putting smiles on people's faces, and our own. we rock at lifting fallen spirits, we rock at displaying what christmas is all about. we rock at loving the audience, and loving each other. we rock at entertaining. we just. plain. rock.


and i lovvvve it <3

what the shit.

Dear God,

Pulling a sort-of all nighter tonight. thinking about stuff, life and shit like that. feeling like i cannot be bothered anymore. not really for any apparent reason. emo-ness that i myself sometimes criticise in others seems to be showing itself in me. trying my best to surpress. doesnt feel exactly pleasant but hypocrisy just wont do. you made the human mind. it's funny what tricks the mind plays. it's so much more advanced than our actual being. in other words, so much more advanced than the heart. you made the heart too. the heart works in a different way, a way in which it allows comprehension. the mind, however, is far more brutal. i might sound like a total psychopath but no, i'm not mentally unstable thank you. maybe it's like this because i need to do something with my life? maybe make more of it? stop being such a useless bum sometimes and get off my ass and make a difference? come to think of it, thinking of the little changes i've made for the better does make me feel a little better. as they say, or You say, we all have a purpose. i just havent quite figured mine out yet. as a sort of prayer for some answers, i write this to you. show me please, in the most subtle and harmless way possible. what IS my purpose? please, dear god, answer me this.


before my mind reaches me before my heart.


Love,
Laila.

first post!

hola all,

i actually started this blog a long time ago but have been sitting on it for ages. then just now when i wanted to start posting already, i forgot my username and password. haha thats ALWAYS the case la. oh well, hopeless me. well it's now 1.59am on the 4th of december 2006. and i cant sleep. sigh. i cant kacau anyone cos that would be suicide. and thad has college tmrw so i dont wanna kacau him. so that leaves...no one. but my blog! i soon realised. i started reading blogs first when i first realised that i couldnt sleep..bee's blog, san's blog, belle's blog (hoping for pics!), steff's blog too. i like reading blogs. the real funny ones sometimes make me LOL big time. thats when u know you're at the top..when u make people LOL. so thats when i decided to blog..and had to change my password cos i couldnt remember it. blegh.

sooooo..today was a prrty fun day. went for mass in the morning, then went back to bsd to drop a.doris and family back home, then went to la bodega bsc for lunch with mum. loshini came along later and joined us. she's super fun. told us about her trip to sabah and all. then after a looooooooong lunch, mum and i went looking at xmas deco there. bought freddo chocs! (haha i know they're not the picture of xmas deco but hey, they're freddo.) freddo u know, the frog?


u do know, don't you?


oh sweet god...you HAVE to try them. cadbury milk chocs in the freddo frog shapes..they have them at bsc, they dont stock in msia so HURRY! so good. there are diff flavours too.

OK MOVING ON. we bought silver balls. xmas tree deco, i mean.

Silver balls, silver balls,
It's christmas time in the city...

yeah so, bought like..3 boxes. cos they were real cheap. OH BEFORE THAT, we went to this little stall selling accessories called Strands. they use semi-precious stones to make them. mum got xmas presents from there. lucky art thou who receives them. seriously. they are gorgeous.

yeah then after that came the silver balls ladeedahh..then we went home. and slept. zzzzZzzz. so nice. after like ONE HOUR (omg la who has a one hour nap how pathetic is that??!) i was awoken by mum cos a.jenny and all came. i was like mmmmmfgghhhh but yeah, i did eventually wake up.


cos she switched the air-cond off. diabolical.


so washed up, went downstairs and everyone was happily snacking on cheese and crackers. we have. A LOT. of cheese. in this household. mind you. so yeahh, we ate and ate. then they went home. oh yeah they bought mum a mini fridge for her bday. it goes UPSTAIRS. muahhaha. haha. ha. yeah. so you can imagine all the junk thats gonna be in there. my junk, i proudly announce.

after that watched tv, texted a while, watched more. texted more. jacq told me a little about the camp. and watched more. then went in to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep. again. zzzzZzzzz.


well, tried to. hence the insane blogging.