restless and reckless.

i need to get out of here. before i bite the heads off of every.single.person.in this house. is it not enough that i got my fair share of shit yesterday? sometimes i feel like if i wasnt in a certain place, no one would even know the difference. so what's the point? i'd rather just be left alone then have 'had dinner with'. puhlease. its not like you even give a damn. i just need to be alone. and i need to cry till there's not an ounce of self-pity left in this hole where my heart used to be.

 it fell, you see. and no one's picking it up anytime soon. unless by some sort of miracle it finds its way back. on the other hand, i'm thinking..should i really be surprised and upset? shouldn't i already be used to this kind of hurt? should i not have seen this coming? well. i really should have seen this coming. nothing is this good to be true, not in this thing called my life. again, unless by some sort of miracle..

miracles. 

i just wish i'd have had a less drastic trip down from cloud9. cos honestly, having your heart ripped right out and being tossed all the way back down to earth isnt exactly the way i'd have had it. is it so wrong for something good like this to happen to me, just once in a while? for some reason, is apparently is. i cant wait. to get out. and to get away. to make my OWN decisions and lead my OWN life. 

i know, a few years down the road i'll be complaining about the responsibilities of leading my own life, bla bla bla. that, i do not deny. but who cares right now about a few years down the road? certainly not me. cos i care about now. about how i get through my life as i know it. and oh how god knows i need to get through it. making something better of my life is something i'm not going to give up on. i'm not saying i dont have it good, i know i do. 

i've only had..enough. 

i'm not a bonsai, i'm just missing nutrients!

psych test tmrw. EEK! i so have to study a lot today. but its after my break, so that's not too bad. oh, steph and i are going to the gym on saturday! we're gonna burn 'em carbs. 

i know this is a sad excuse for a blog update. but..i have to go shower. and. study. and. fantasize of yummy food which i wont get to eat anytime soon. so yeah.

my hands, my hands, my, uh, my.

i ate a deutsche dooooodle dang today :)

say it. doooodle dang!

this one's for jo :)

okay, i dont have much to blog about now. lacking inspiration and overflowing with writer's block. so i will blog about...  

how jo is, and i QUOTE, awesome and NOT cool, but then again is also cool, just that being awesome precedes being cool. 

lol JUST KIDDING jo, i'm not going to BLOG about that. as much as you would like me to. i'm going to blog about..

RANDOM FUN FACTS! *screams*

1. it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.  0.0

2. donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. (LOL)

3. the plastic things on the ends of shoelaces are called aglets.

4. a snail can sleep for 3 years. (lol just imagine a snail waking up and going, "hmmmmmm agnes, *yaaawns* what did i miss?") 

5. the electric chair was invented by a dentist.

6. no word in the dictionary rhymes with 'month'.

7. donald duck comics were banned from finland cos he didnt wear pants.

8. coca cola was originally green. (copper cola?)

9. if you yelled for 8 years,  7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. 

10. in sweden, there is a ski-thru mcdonalds. 

hope you were entertained with a little more reading material, jo. will try to update more often. with..ahem..substance. lol. 

xoxo

the solution, of the gradient, of the tangent, of the curve.

was what we did in math today. 

had an easy day of classes today (cos there's no malaysian studies on tuesdays) but still, i could seriously deteriorate alive in english class. 

it. is. SO. dull.

and we dont even have any lit! which SUCKS! ugh. well, i dont know if we're gonna...but i highly doubt it. tis in this class where i have perfected the art of sleeping with my eyes opened. tis a skill. had lunch with HB3 today. tomorrow we're eating with bryan and wendy cos we have to do our psych group meeting. 

OH! i saw ym's new phone todaaaaay! it's to DIE for. i'm so getting it. 

is the image a bit small? sorry. SQUINT! teeheee.

i am in love.

i've been saving for quite a while now, so i should be getting it sometime before the middle of the year. hopefully. but i'm still on the fence. 

mum picked me up after college. and she hadnt had lunch so we went to fogal meat market and she had a salad. at. a meat market. lol. 

* i will not disclose publicly what happened, if you wanna know just ask*

left after that (mum bought pies and sausages) and went to this DVD shop. bought PS I Love You!!!! and and and No Reservations (Cath Zeta-Jones and Aaron sexbomb Eckhart) and mum bought some others too. oh yeah, i'm also strangely injured/in pain today. got up and went to college in the morning and my neck's been hurting like a bitch since then. i probably slept wrongly. PLUS i've had a splitting headache since...sometime early in the day too. ugh. mystery injury and pain in head still there, by the way. what i'm doing sitting here in front of the computer remains a mystery to me. 

oh and on the way home, there was a minor jam before the traffic lights. this A-Class A-Hole HONKS till the cows came home, out of sheer impatience. when i say honks, i mean...one of those superlongeverlastinghonksthatmakeyougolikeOMGLASHADDAP! 

like HELLO! we're all stuck here TOO! what do you expect, all of us to magically disappear at the euphonious sound of your horn?! order a damn brain with a side dish of patience, why dont you. and that's not it, OH no. the mofo had to go and show his finger to this poor innocent lady for NO reason. i mean, we were all stuck in the same situation. it was NOBODY'S fault. just plain congestion. haiyo. seriously la. 

yeah.

so came home after that episode, and popped two actifasts for the head.

and actifast MY BUM. they're not workinggngngngng! 

:(

to make you feel my love

is a good song. i highly recommend it. 

woke up at around 11.30am today. did math in bed. lol. i've decided that it's the best way imaginable to do math. relaxed, so NOT stressing out over it. math in bed for like almost 2 hours (yay me!) and then decided to stop. ihad like four questions left by then. got outta bed, had a shower and collapsed back onto said bed with my ipod and hoodie. felt so good, fresh outta the shower listening to good music. aahh. 

in the midst of my relaxed bliss, adri called for lunch. so got up, got ready and left at around 2.30pm. went to secret recipe, amin joined us. went home after the late lunch and watched some one tree hill. heh. math still awaiting. 

OH. then i thought i was going crazy. 

while i was at my computer, i thought i heard like...a tune playing. 

sort of...far away, in the distance..

i dismissed it at first. a few seconds later, i heard it again. i honestly thought i was joining the likes of the rest of my family, going falalabanananas. it was so creeepy. like, in a quiet room, imagine hearing a soft, melodious tune. positively haunting, right?! so i turned around. it was coming from that direction..

- _______________________-

i'd left my iPod on. i'm a fucking CHAMPION sometimes, i tell you. 

i laughed at my momentary stupidity and turned it off. 

oh well. at least i know i'm still the sane one in the family. 

*flashes big grin* 

i'm going for prayers tonight. it's been a long time since i've been to uncle bob's place. oh how i've missed monday nights there. glad to be getting back into that routine, before i got all stressed out about SPM. speaking of SPM, resluts are out March 12th. i'm not really anxious anymore..seeing as how i've already started college and am in a whole different ball game altogether. but, a little apprehensive nonetheless. so...pray for me people! not long now :S

okay, i'd better go finish up my math now, before i lose my momentum. 

now THAT, my dears, would be an absolute calamityyy.

---- edit----

done with maaath. or at least, done with all the questions i know how to answer. 

was so overcome with joy, took some pictures.

something's f-ing with my system.

i've been eating all day. ALL. friggin'. DAY. i ate loh shi fun in the morning. then came home and slept for a while. went out again. didn't eat, so i thought i was okay. 

oh HELL how i was mistaken.

came back, ate lunch. that's still okay. THEN. i ate

mameemonsterandcheezelsANDoreowaferrollsandGODDAMIT.

sweets.

i think these are withdrawal symptoms along with the effects of having the..'aiyo i could be happier lah, okay' syndrome. sigh. 

i feel gross. i'm so not having dinner.

going to watch the AO finals now. fed-nadal baby! also, i'm a bit relaxed cos there isnt as much of math as i thought there was. so...TEEHEE. *slackslackslackslackEAT*

to TMR - sigh.