DIE-lemma.

this is what i wanted. it is. why, then, do i feel so empty inside? i dont know what i'm trying to accomplish by doing this. i dont know what the hell i'm trying to prove. independance? no.. discipline? HELL no. honestly, i've never EVER been so lost in this place i call my OWN life. i need some sort of sign indicating just a hint of what i'm supposed to do with myself. cos i just have no clue whatsoever on how to deal. i know i should quit whining because hey, I WANTED THIS. but what's whining good for if not for things like this. i want so many things. to go to so many places. to meet so many people. many , MANY , MANY! heck, i dont know any other word. i guess that's why i disappoint myself time after time. because i just dont know how to push myself to the limit to get the MANY things that i want. i do it the wrong way, at least. pushing people away, pushing actual relevent work aside. doing all the wrong things. what do i get in the end? hurt&disappointed. i hurt and disappoint the people who love me. i cant afford to do this anymore.


i'm so done.





IN OUT

making breaking